“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11
July 10th 2012 I pulled into a dark street, pulled over, and stepped out of the car to catch my breath from a moment in which I believed “I’ve gone mad,” losing every rationalization from reality, and stepping further into the darkness that had over shadowed that season of my life. I stood next to the backseat passenger window and gazed at my beautiful one-year-old sound asleep as I cried with all that I had. “God, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t deal with this pain anymore.” I’m so alone juggling the weight of motherhood, finances, and past relationship battles. “Lord, I’m so done with this life, I have no desire to live it anymore.” Once those words and that tragic confession came out of my mouth, I felt the company of the Holy Spirit join me that night. The lord was present, He was with me, and His voice of reason became louder than my fears, louder than the lies, at that very moment His words became truth when all I knew were lies.
You see, this moment was a pivotal moment in my life; this was the day that the lord drew close and made aware of the truth that had been hidden from me by this world. He began explaining to me, “He had plans to prosper me, not to harm me, plans to fill me with hope, and grant me a future.” The Lord Jesus Christ himself through the Holy Spirit spoke (Jeremiah 29:11) over my life and I cherished those words with all that I was. I had a revelation of who He was that night. I understood that He wasn’t interested in condemning me, He wasn’t interested in pointing out my flaws or blaming me for my past mistakes. No, He was interested and determined in rescuing me; interested in redirecting my life back into his hands. I understood then at that moment that He was interested in who I would be and not who I had been; He was interested in rescuing my future.
Time went on and I entered into a wonderful journey of discovering not only who I was, but also who I was IN HIM. I became aggressively passionate about the future the lord had for me. I would not let this world and its sins rob me from discovering the promises of the lord. I became determined. Determined to heal, determined to know my spiritual father, but most importantly I was determined to be found faithful. More than anything this was my desire. I wanted to be found faithful by Christ. I knew that He would be faithful to me and to His word just as He was that summer night in July, but would I? I knew my heart, and I knew I wasn’t anything that this world had labeled me in being. Yes, I was a struggling single-mother, but I was not a stereotype, statistic, or demographic. I was tired of being labeled by society’s misconception of a promiscuous woman, desperate to seek attention and approval by men. I was in a relationship with the lord and I was committed.
Temptation, trials, and hardship came along but I was devoted to not abandon the visions and dreams the lord instilled in my heart. I had made the unshakable decision to remain rooted and respond in faith, no matter what came my way. You see I believe whole-heartedly that the above mind-set was probably the biggest push into launching me into receiving the promises of the lord. That declaration of truth that I had made to follow Christ shifted my whole existence. See, I share with you this moment of vulnerability and pure humility to testify the goodness of the lord. I have seen the lord move in faithfulness on my behalf. Restoring my image, from once a single mother to experiencing the beautiful gift of marriage and a family.
So today I challenge you, maybe you are in a season in your life in which you believe the lord has forgotten about you and the desires of your heart? Or maybe you are in a season in which you believe you too have gone “a little mad” receiving lies from hell and believing your current situation is all you will ever know. Or, maybe this is the first time that you have ever read something about the promises of the lord and you too want to receive all that God has for you. If so, allow me to lead you in a prayer.
Lord, I surrender my current situation and state of mind in your hands. Today I make the unshakable decision to follow you and trust you fully. Lord, I received the promise you spoke over my life through (Jeremiah 29:11) and I receive it. May this scripture be more than just comfort. I pray that it may be a weapon; through every trial, set back, and every lie from hell may this promise bring strength, and may its declaration of truth be rooted in my heart. I receive your promises for my life and I pray for a steadfast heart. In Jesus name, Amen.